In 1867 Bülow became director of the newly reopened Königliche Musikschule in Munich. He taught piano there in the manner of Liszt. He remained as director of the Conservatory until 1869. Bülow's students in Berlin included Asger Hamerik and Joseph Pache.

In addition to championing the music of Wagner, Bülow was a supporter of the music of Brahmsand Tchaikovsky. He was the soloist in the world premiere of the Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1 in B-flat minor in Boston in 1875. He was also a devotee of Frédéric Chopin's music; he came up with epithets for all of Chopin's Opus 28 Preludes,[2] but these have generally fallen into disuse. Only the D-flat major Prelude No. 15 is widely known by his title, the "Raindrop".[3]

He was the first to perform (from memory) the complete cycle of Beethoven's piano sonatas,[4]and with Sigmund Lebert, he co-produced an edition of the sonatas.

For the winter season of 1877–1878, he was appointed as conductor of the orchestral subscription concerts presented at the newly opened St Andrew's Hall in Glasgow by Glasgow Choral Union, touring with their orchestra to repeat these programmes in other Scottish cities. Among the works he conducted there was the recently revised version of Brahms Symphony No 1.

In 1864 he became the Hofkapellmeister in Munich, and it was at this post he achieved his principal renown. He conducted the premieres of two Wagner operas, Tristan und Isolde and Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg, in 1865 and 1868 respectively; both were immensely successful. Meanwhile, however, Cosima had been carrying on an affair with Richard Wagner and gave birth to their daughter Isolde in 1865. Two years later, they had another daughter, Eva. Although Cosima and Wagner's affair was now open knowledge, Bülow still refused to grant his wife a divorce. It was only when she gave birth to a third child, Siegfried, that the conductor at last relented. Their divorce was finalized in 1870, after which Cosima and Wagner married. Bülow never spoke to Wagner again, and he did not see his former wife for 11 years afterwards. However, he apparently continued to respect the composer on a professional level, as he still conducted his works and mourned Wagner's death in 1883. In July 1882 he married the actress Marie Schanzer.

Bülow was born in Dresden into an old and prominent House of Bülow. He was the son of novelist Karl Eduard von Bülow [de] (1803–1853) and his wife, Franziska Elisabeth Stoll von Berneck (1800–1888). From the age of nine, he was a student of Professor Friedrich Wieck (the father of Clara Schumann). However, his parents insisted that he study law instead of music, and they sent him to Leipzig. There he met Franz Liszt, and on hearing some music of Richard Wagner—specifically, the premiere of Lohengrin in 1850—he decided to ignore the dictates of his parents and make himself a career in music instead. He studied the piano in Leipzig with the famous pedagogue Louis Plaidy. He obtained his first conducting job in Zürich, on Wagner's recommendation, in 1850.

Bülow had a strongly acerbic personality and a sharp tongue; this alienated many musicians whom he worked with. He was dismissed from his Zurich job for this reason, but at the same time he was beginning to win renown for his ability to conduct new and complex works without a score. In 1851, he became a student of Liszt, marrying his daughter Cosima in 1857. They had two daughters: Daniela, born in 1860, and Blandina, born in 1863. During the 1850s and early 1860s he was active as a pianist, conductor, and writer, and became well known throughout Germany as well as Russia. In 1857, he premiered Liszt's Piano Sonata in B minor in Berlin.